Post by Adesanya Ayotola (@adesanya_ayotola)

YOUR ATTRACTIONS ARE NOT YOUR SPECS.

There is a difference between what attracts you and what you want. Your attractions are the things that catch your attention, stir your emotions and make you admire someone. Your specs are the qualities, values, and characteristics you have identified as desirable in the person you want to build a relationship with.

You can be attracted to someone who doesn't meet your specifications. You can meet someone who ticks every box on your list and still feel no attraction towards them. One appeals to your feelings; the other satisfies your preferences. Sometimes, they align beautifully. Other times, they stand at opposite ends of the room, leaving you to decide which matters more.

The challenge is that attraction can be immediate, while compatibility often takes time to discover and sometimes, in our pursuit of what excites us, we abandon what we said mattered to us. Other times, we become so committed to our specifications that we overlook the possibility of finding something beautiful outside our carefully constructed expectations.

The wisdom is not in choosing one over the other blindly but in understanding the place each occupies in the kind of relationship we desire.

Let's bring it home.
If you had to choose between someone who strongly matches your physical and emotional attractions but falls short of your relationship specifications, and someone who ticks all your boxes but doesn't naturally attract you, which would you rather choose?
Your attractions or your specs?
Let's hear your thoughts. 👇🏾

Good morning people

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