Post by The Steph Edit (@Ess)

I’m not the most forgiving person.

In fact, I’m the person who will tell you, “Please don’t offend me o, because I don’t forgive.” 😂

And honestly, even when I eventually say I’ve forgiven you, I don’t think I completely forget. Something changes. There’s a little reservation. A tiny bit of resentment sometimes. I may still love you, still talk to you, still be cool with you, but there’s a part of me that remembers exactly what happened and becomes a little more careful with you.

I recently saw a creator on another app talk about her own struggles with forgiveness, and I found myself relating to almost everything she said.

It made me realise that maybe forgiveness isn't always as simple as, “I forgive you, so everything is back to normal.”

Sometimes forgiveness is a process.

Sometimes it’s accepting that what happened hurt you, deciding you don't want to carry that hurt forever, and still understanding that rebuilding trust will take time.

And maybe forgiving someone doesn't mean giving them the same access to you that they had before.

I’m still learning that.

Because sometimes, I think I confuse forgiveness with forgetting. And when I realise I still remember, I assume I haven't forgiven.

Maybe I have. Maybe I’m just human.

I don't know if I'll ever become the type of person who forgets easily. But I’m learning that holding onto resentment doesn't punish the person who hurt me nearly as much as it keeps me tied to something that already happened.

So maybe forgiveness isn't, “What you did doesn't matter anymore.”

Maybe sometimes it's simply, “What you did mattered. It hurt me. But I don't want it to have power over me forever.”

Still learning. 🫶🏽

@shadyboy

0 likes · 0 comments · 0 shares