Post by Adesanya Ayotola (@adesanya_ayotola)

Humans are generally performative. I am deliberately not using the word hypocrite; this makes us emotional beings who are rarely as consistent as we imagine ourselves to be. One way to discover this is to listen to how people describe you when they love you, and then listen again when they are angry with you.

THE CONTRAST CAN BE ASTONISHING.

When we are happy with someone, we interpret their flaws generously. When we are angry, the same person suddenly becomes everything we have ever disliked. So when someone says, “I didn't mean it, I was angry,” I sometimes wonder: if anger made you say it, did it create the thought, or simply remove the restraint that normally keeps it hidden?

I am not saying that what is said in anger is necessarily the truth. I am saying that it is their true perception of you the perception that their anger has revealed, even if that perception itself is distorted, unfair or completely untrue.

Perhaps neither version is the complete truth.
Maybe what we say about people and even what we say about ourselves is often a reflection of how we feel at that particular moment. Very few people remain consistent when emotions enter the room.

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