Post by Adeyemi (@adeyemitalabi)

Following up on my previous post… here’s where this “HIDDEN SELFISHNESS” gets a lot less funny.

Sometimes, people encourage you to stay in situations that are hurting you, not because they’re thinking about you, BUT BECAUSE THEY’RE THINKING ABOUT HOW YOUR DECISION AFFECTS THEM. 🤦🏾‍♀️

Take an abusive marriage, for example;
When your family keeps saying, “Stay and make it work,” is it always because they’re genuinely concerned about your happiness and safety❓

Or could part of it be because they’re trying to protect their own image❓💁🏻‍♀️

Your parents are respected Christian. Does a part of them fear that people might conclude they failed to raise their daughter in the faith if her marriage ends❓

Your married siblings nko❓Do they worry that your divorce might become the lens through which their spouses or in-laws interpret every disagreement in their marriages❓

And what about your children❓
Does someone worry that one day, when they’re ready to marry, people will judge them because their parents divorced❓

It’s worth asking ourselves:
How often do we want people around us to keep performing a certain way, not for their good, but so we can continue feeling “VALIDATED “?( for lack of a better word)

My‼️Why are we so quick to make someone else’s life carry the weight of our own reputation?🤦🏾‍♀️

Na wa o.

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