Post by Mild Uchenna (@Milduchenna)

Parenting Is Guidance, Not Absolute Control

One mistake we often make is judging parents solely by the behaviour of their children. When a child turns out well, we praise the parents. When a child goes astray, we quickly conclude that the parents failed. Reality is rarely that simple.

In my opinion, parenting is not 100% in the hands of the parents. I would describe it as 40% parental guidance and 60% personal choice. Parents can teach values, set boundaries, provide discipline, and lead by example, but they cannot force a child to embrace those values for life.

Two children can grow up in the same home, receive the same love, the same discipline, and the same opportunities, yet choose completely different paths. That tells us something important: training influences character, but personal decisions shape destiny.

This is why I avoid generalising. Instead of saying, "You lack home training," I prefer to say, "You failed to accept the home training you were given." Those are not the same thing.
Of course, there are cases where parents neglect their responsibilities, and they should be held accountable. But where parents have genuinely done their best, it is unfair to place the entire burden of a grown child's decisions on them.

Before judging a parent, remember that raising a child is a responsibility, but becoming a person of character is ultimately a personal choice.

I am Mild Uchenna and yes I believe parenting is guidance not Absolute Control.

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