Post by Adesanya Ayotola (@adesanya_ayotola)
THE DEUTY OF STEWARDSHIP AND THE ILLUSION OF OWNERSHIP
One of the greatest misconceptions in parenting is believing that children are possessions rather than persons. Parents are not owners; they are stewards.
Ownership gives the illusion of absolute authority. Stewardship recognizes temporary responsibility. An owner seeks control. A steward seeks faithful care.
Children come through their parents but they do not belong to them.
Parents are entrusted with the responsibility of nurturing, protecting, guiding and preparing them not preserving them in perpetual dependence. This is where many relationships begin to fracture.
Some parents continue relating with their adult children using principles that were only appropriate for childhood.
They mistake maturity for rebellion, independence for ingratitude and disagreement for disrespect. What was once guidance gradually becomes control and what should have evolved into mutual respect remains trapped in hierarchy. Healthy parenting should be developmental. As a child grows, the parent's role should evolve from protector, to teacher, to mentor and eventually to trusted counsel.
Stewardship understands that success is not measured by how long a child remains under your authority, but by how well they can stand in wisdom without it. Perhaps this is why some parents struggle to relate to their adult children. They never transitioned from ownership to stewardship. They expected obedience when what was now needed was a relationship. They held on to authority when what was required was trust.
The goal of parenting is not to raise children who never leave your shadow. It is to raise adults who carry the light you helped kindle, even when they walk paths you would not have chosen. The paradox of good stewardship is this: if you have done it well, those entrusted to your care will eventually need you less not because they love you less but because you prepared them well enough to stand on their own.
Perhaps that is one of the highest callings of parenthood: not to create lifelong dependence, but lifelong relationship
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Success is not measured by how long a child remains under your authority but by how well they can stand in wisdom without it.
That line alone should be framed.
Ownership creates control. Stewardship creates adults.
Thank y...
When parents hold on to ownership instead of stewardship, they raise dependents.
The children struggle to make decisions in life and it affects them in many areas.
They grow up but never get to grow.
Parenting should be relationship not control.
I have always said, and will continue to say, that parents are caretakers who will one day give an account of how they raised the children entrusted to them.
Parenting should indeed evolve...
Indeed watching a child step into adulthood creates a distinction between ownership and stewardship. Parents must ensure that their guidance evolve from "protector" to "trusted counsel"
I appreciate how the write up defines successful stewardship not as dependency, b...
One point that stood out to me is that a parent's role should evolve—from protector to mentor and trusted counsel.
I also believe that while parents should gradually release control, adult children have a lifelong du...