Post by IPKISS (@ipkiss)

One man made advances to his wife one evening when she told him off in the coldest fashion. Perhaps she was in a bad mood. But her words, finding him at such a vulnerable moment, pierced him like a dagger to his chest.

The next day he repeated her words in a message, asking if she really meant to say that. He was hoping for a quick apology and retraction but no. He only received salt in the wound.

He asked:

"Did you really tell me I'm selfish and I never think of anything else except my own needs, and that you've tolerated me for long and you can't take it anymore? Did you say I only come to you for my own needs and never care about yours, that I see you as a servant and only use you?

Did you really say that if you knew this is what marriage looked like you'd never get in and you only endure for the children?"

She replied dismissively with something along the lines of: "I said what I said. I'm entitled to speak my mind. I am a woman and I have feelings and needs."

He then carefully recounted their ten-year journey together, highlighting how he always tried to put her needs first and how she had acknowledged it countless times.

She had never raised any issues of feeling neglected or drained.

She refused to dialogue any further and the man had no option but to retreat emotionally and try to process that psychological bomb.

He continued to come home every weekend but things were never the same again.

It is the nature of hurting animals to hide and humans are no different. He never came close to her again.

He performed his logistical roles and attended to the children but kept to himself the rest of the time.

The woman seemed happy with her life and quite unbothered. Her silence only rubber-stamped the message. It meant that she meant what she said.

After two months or so, he completely lost the urge to come home and started showing up fortnightly and spending only one day rather than two.

She tried to initiate some closeness and indirectly ask for a sit-down but he was repulsed by anything to do with her.

Within a short time, he was collecting the children to go spend a weekend with him at the other home where he worked. He silently left their matrimonial home for good.

She scampered for reconciliation from family and friends when she received notice of divorce but it was too late.

He said that he tried to forgive and reconcile but his nervous system rejected the idea. He couldn't see her the same anymore.

He wasn't even angry. He was just done.

She confessed that she had an inappropriate closeness with another man at work although it was not physical. But looking back, she realized that she was receiving emotional satisfaction like attention and affection from him and it made her downplay her husband's importance in her life.

I brought up this story to remind our women that your mouth can ruin your marriage. Within minutes.

Society makes it look like women have the room to say anything because, after all, they're emotional creatures.

There are, however, lines you don't cross. Do not insult a man's importance or effort even when you're angry. Your anger will pass but your words won't.

Also, men need to feel respected even during disagreements. If you dishonor and tell him off, make sure you know what you're doing because you may lose him for good.

Men are not saints and they're not always right. But if you've decided to make a man your husband, you'll need to respect him in all states of mind.

You can deny his requests without demeaning him. You can disagree without dismissing him.

That's how a wise woman builds her house with her own hands while a foolish one destroys it.

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