Post by Miebaka Emmanuel Ikiriko (@miebaka86)

If you think Nigerian governance has reached peak absurdity, hold onto your jallabiya because a ghost just obtained office accommodation in the Federal Secretariat, opened accounts with the Central Bank of Nigeria, and nearly walked away with 950,000 of public funds.

Let that sink in.

A ghost. Not a metaphor. Not a political nickname. An actual non-existent entity complete with a salary, a desk, and banking privileges almost became a near-millionaire on your tax naira.

This isn't a Nollywood script. This is the Federal Civil Service in 2026.

Here's how the hustle works: someone creates a fictitious employee profile. The "ghost" gets enrolled on the government payroll. They receive official documentation. They get assigned office space in the Federal Secretariat yes, the same building where actual ministers sit. Then they waltz into the Central Bank of Nigeria and open accounts like they're opening a domiciliary account for Japa.

The payday? 950,000. Nearly a million dollars. For someone who doesn't exist.

And here's the kicker: you can't charge a ghost with fraud.

You can arrest the human behind the keyboard, maybe. But the system that allowed a phantom to pass through HR, finance, security clearance, and Nigeria's apex bank? That system is still sitting pretty, probably asking for a budget increase.

This is what happens when accountability is outsourced to "God will judge" and procurement is treated like a family inheritance. We've normalized the abnormal so much that even fictional people are now middle-class bureaucrats.

So next time someone tells you "Nigeria has potential," remind them that even our imaginary citizens are trying to Japa with public funds.

The ghosts aren't the problem. The machine that gives them flesh is.

Tag someone who still believes civil service reform is coming. 💀

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