Post by Gist Flow NG (@Light)

I'll take a calculated guess on why this led to divorce, and I bet you it's not what you think.

First and foremost, there are valid arguments for why the woman might have declined moving to Lagos. She is likely in Kaduna for a career that she spent many years building. More than that, it could be that the children's schooling was stable there, and relocating would be a greater sacrifice than she ever imagined for the nearest future.

So, what I'm trying to establish is that her refusal may not necessarily mean she didn't love her husband.

But...

I don't think the divorce happened because she refused to move.
I think it happened because of what her "no" communicated to him.

Your man gets k1dnapped while travelling hundreds of kilometres just to see yourself and his children in the regular manner that he does.
He spends two weeks in captivity.
And after staring d3ath in the face like that, he comes to you traumatized, pleading with you like:
"Please, let's stop this arrangement. Let's finally live together."
To me, that is no longer an ordinary request.
That is your husband reminding you how he almost died trying to get home.

At that point, I can understand why he would expect his wife to seriously reconsider.
Marriage is not only about individual fulfilment. It is also about adaptation when circumstances change.
And being k1dnapped is not a small change in circumstances.

Now, like I always emphasize on this platform, I'm a realist. That's why I will be fair enough to not expect the woman to just abandon everything and follow her husband like that.
A healthy marriage should involve conversation, compromise and problem-solving.
Maybe Lagos wasn't the answer.
Maybe Kaduna wasn't the answer.
Maybe there was another city.
Maybe there was a middle ground.

But all these were not even considered. And that's where I sensed trouble.
According to the story, the wife did not just say "no." She said it repeatedly after such a life-altering event and apparently offered no meaningful adjustment beyond "just fly instead."

As in, your spouse just survived something that left him emotionally shaken like that, and you don't realize that he's just asking for convenience?
You couldn't see he was asking for reassurance?
...Asking to feel that he matters?

Well, would I divorce over it?
That depends on whether the refusal was part of a deeper pattern.
Because divorces rarely happen because of one conversation.
Most divorces happen because one conversation reveals a problem that has existed for years.
Just maybe this wife has always been selfish and this was the final straw that broke the camel's back.
#fypシ゚ #trendingpost #marriagematters #Gist

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