Post by Being Ready And Stable (BRAS) (@brashub)

NNEKA'S DIARY XXIII

About a month after Kunle returned, on a quiet Tuesday evening, I finally asked the question that had been sitting at the back of my mind.

We had met at the same guest house where we had our first real date. It was becoming our special place — neutral, private, and respectable. No sleeping over. No impropriety. Just two people talking honestly.

After we had eaten, we moved to the small terrace outside the room. The night air was cool. The city noise was distant.

"Kunle," I said, "can I ask you something? And I need you to be completely honest."

"Anything."

I took a deep breath.

"The night we met — at Priscilla's birthday party. You were married. Why were you paying me so much attention?"

He didn't look away. But his hand stopped moving.

"I've asked myself that question a thousand times," he said quietly. "And I've never liked the answer."

"Tell me anyway."

He set down his cup.

"Angela and I... we were not okay. The last year of our marriage, she was drinking heavily. Hiding it. Lying about it. I was exhausted. Angry. Lonely."

He looked at me.

"That doesn't excuse what I did. I was a married man. I had no business looking at another woman the way I looked at you that night. No business laughing with you. No business wishing I could stay longer."

"Then why did you?"

"Because you laughed freely. You didn't look at me like I was a problem to solve. For one hour, I forgot I was drowning. And I hated myself for it the next morning."

I let his words settle.

"Thank you for being honest," I said.

"I was wrong, Nneka. I want you to know that I know that. I've asked God to forgive me. And I've asked myself to never become that man again."

I reached for his hand.

"I'm not marrying the man you were. I'm marrying the man you are."

He pulled my hand to his lips and kissed it.

"I don't deserve you."

"Maybe. But you have me anyway."

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