Post by dives (@dives)

So I stopped a bus this morning and was about entering, when I saw two fat women sitting behind. The conductor raised the chair and asked me to join them. I told him I wanted the front seat instead. But he replied in Hausa.

"Akwai VIO à gaba."

I think it means there are VIO officials in front and he couldn't allow two passengers share the front seat.

I simply decided to join the women.

One of the women turned towards me and started talking to me.

"You dey fear us?"

I shook my head.

"No. I just like the front seat. It is not fear."

"Na lie. Na because you see two hefty women wey cover space remain. You no want make we press you for one corner abi."

I laughed.

Then the other fat woman chuckled.

"This weight weight I carry so, I suppose reduce am o. E don the too much. To waka seff na problem."

"Eh, your husband the feed you well na. Na evidence of good living."

"Good living keh. Abeg I no want am. I suppose reduce. Abi no be so my brother?" She turned her question at me.

I looked at her.

"You are okay ma."

Even though I knew what I said was not completely true, I still forced a smile. That woman was fatty. Even her cheeks fell like melted ice cream. Her fat legs which were both opened wide, still looked like one she had closed tightly.

"Tell her o." The other woman threw. "Me wey the plan to add weight seff. See eh, anytime I see women trying to reduce weight, I go just the laugh. Me I no fit go through that stress lie lie. As I dey like this, I am very happy with my size and weight. Wetin the sweet me pass na my breast and big nyash. Men love that one wella. Especially my husband. Him no the take nyash and breast play for this life. If na wetin go keep am for house, make him take sit down for one place, I go remain like this. If you slim now, them go commot go find fat woman for outside."

"What if you fat, and they want slim?" The other fat woman asked.

"Slim keh? My brother you like slim woman?"

I shook my head like a school bell.

"Ohoooo… him seff like better thing. My sister, every man want woman wey big in size, big for chest, come big for nyash join. Forget that thing. You know wetin soft body the do?"

Then she turned to me.

"My brother, how you the feel when big woman climb on top you for bed? Especially if you grab the woman for waist and her nyash come touch your material."

"Ah ah Madam." The other woman shrugged her shoulders and laughed.

"Na wetin? We be adults na. Abeg make we talk true when we see true. Who never hold woman nyash before? Oga na fine boy, him no fit tell me say with this him fine face, him never hold woman nyash before, or woman nyash never touch him material before. I want make him tell you so you go know. So that you go cherish this your size wey God don bless you with. So my brother tell us, how you dey feel when you touch fat woman wey get big nyash and big breast. I dey talk of woman wey fine like this Aunty o. If them sit down on top your material, how e dey do you for body?

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