Post by Kenneth Franklyn (@kenfrank)

Why I Don’t Advise Marrying Into Certain Situations

This afternoon, I want to say something that might be controversial. It’s about the choices and mistakes men make when choosing a wife. I know some women won’t like it. I come in peace.

But before I go further, let me ask you: women, if you tell a man the kind of husband you want, would you be willing to settle for less? Think about that. Now let’s continue.

From my limited experience and observation, I’ve come to this conclusion: *don’t marry a woman from a home that cannot stand on its own, and don’t settle for a woman who can’t foot her own monthly bills.* There’s no freshness in the head of a fish, no matter how tasty the soup is. If the foundation is weak, the pressure will eventually come to you.

Let me tell you a story about a colleague at my office. I’ll call him Kenneth.

Last Sunday afternoon, Kenneth came to my place. We had agreed to meet before heading out to a meeting in Milan — our last one for the month. He arrived hours early. I told him to relax while I got ready. I left him in the parlor and went into my room.

From the room, I was talking to him, not knowing he’d fallen asleep. A few minutes later, I heard him shout, “Two million naira!”
I rushed out. “Nwoke, kedu ihe na-eme?” Man, what’s going on?_

“Nothing,” he said.

A moment later, his phone rang. It was his wife, crying.
“Do you want him to remain in the police cell? He’s the only son!”
Kenneth replied, “I’ll call you back,” and hung up.

I asked if everything was okay.
“Everything is not okay, Ken,” he said. “I got suspended at work yesterday because of this issue. I’ve been sleeping badly at night, so I started sleeping at the office. That’s what got me suspended. And now the police are demanding 2 million naira.”

“For what?” I asked.

He explained:
“Do you remember the Toyota Sienna I sent home last time? My wife and her family begged me to give it to her younger brother. He had nothing to do, so they said he could use it for transport. I agreed, thinking at least he’d stop taking money from my wife for upkeep.

“The last thing I heard was that her brother went to a joint to pick up a man who promised to help him with a job. When they got there, the people were happy to see him. The man took the car key to start the car. On the way back, the police stopped him and asked for the car papers. The man said the papers were with the owner at the joint. (Marijuana joint)

“The police forced him to lead them to the joint. They mentioned my brother-in-law’s name, found some marijuana there, and took everyone to the station. Now they’re demanding 3 million naira to release him and the vehicle, or they’ll charge him with armed robbery.”

Kenneth looked at me and said, “Now I don’t have work. I don’t have two million naira to send, and my wife and her family depend on me. What do I do?”

He added, “And my wife isn’t working yet. She’s still learning how to trade.”

So I ask again: *marrying a woman from a poor home, or a woman who has no income yet, while you’re still trying to build yourself — does that make sense?* To me, it doesn’t.

I know Kenneth won’t recognize himself in this story. I’m not using his real name, and the first time I mentioned ‘Lekeleke’ it sounded like a bird to him. 🤣🤣

Now I want to hear from you. What’s your opinion?

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