Post by Minister of Enjoyment (@Yelsgnik)

THE DAY I DEFENDED GARRI IN SCHOOL DEBATE 😂
Back in secondary school, our English teacher made the mistake of choosing me, Auquo , to represent my house in an inter-school debate 🎤😂
The topic was:
“Which Is Better: Garri or Rice?”
Immediately I heard it, I stood up and shouted:
“Madam, my mama dey sell garri I'm gonna win this debate....😜
The whole class burst into laughter.
My opponent was one fine girl from another school, Amara, representing Rice 🍚✨
She adjusted her tie like she was defending PhD thesis and said:
“Rice is food of celebration 🎉
No wedding is complete without rice.
No birthday is successful without rice.
No Christmas is valid without rice.
Nobody says:
‘Come celebrate with us, we are serving soaked garri and groundnut.’”
Crowd laughed 😂😂
She continued:
“Rice has class 😌
Rice has packaging 💅
Rice has varieties:
Jollof, Fried, Coconut, Ofada, White Rice & Stew 🍛
Rice enters party with confidence.
Rice wears suit and tie 👔
Garri enters in rubber bowl.”
Audience screamed 😭🤣
Then she dropped final bomb 💣:
“Rice is for champions 🏆
Athletes eat rice.
Presidents eat rice.
Garri is what people eat when things are not moving well.”
Thunderous applause 👏🔥
Even my own classmates were clapping.
Traitors. 😒😂
Then it was my turn 😎
I adjusted my oversized school trousers and stepped forward like a warrior 🕺
“Good day honorable judges, respected audience, and my opponent speaking under the influence of jollof propaganda…” 🤣
“Today I stand to defend not just a food…
I stand to defend a LEGEND 💪A SURVIVOR 🫡
A SAVIOR OF HUMANITY 🙌I stand to defend…
GARRI!!!”......
Half the students shouted:
“YEEEEEE!!!” 😂🔥

I asked the judges:
“Do you have garri in your house?” 👀
They laughed........
One judge nodded 😂.....
I shouted: “Exactly! Because Garri is the LAST HOPE OF MANKIND!”

When rice finishes — Garri is there 🫡
When salary never enter — Garri is there 💸
When mummy says “manage till month end” — Garri appears like superhero 🦸
Audience: “YEEEEEE!” 🤣
“Rice is for parties 🎉
Garri is for survival 🪖
Rice is occasional 📅
Garri is dependable 💯”
Then I turned to Amara dramatically 😤👇
“Can rice save you in 30 seconds?!”
“When hunger strikes by 11:47pm 🌙
Can rice shout:
‘My son, I am ready!’?”
NO!
But Garri?
Add water 💧
Add sugar 🍬
Add groundnut 🥜
SALVATION HAS COME! 🙌🤣
Then I explained the meaning of GARRI 😭🔥
G – Giver of Energy ⚡
A – Attitude Changer 😤
R – Restorer of Hope 🙏
R – Reducer of Weakness 💪
I – Increaser of Agility 🏃
“Garri has many names:”
Student Power 📚
Life Support ❤️
Hunger Destroyer 🍽️
Emergency Department 🚑
Federal Ministry of Survival 🏛️🤣
“Garri is loyal!”
Cornflakes came and left 🥣
Golden Morn disappointed 😭
Noodles became expensive 💸
But Garri remained faithful.
Faithful in dry season ☀️
Faithful in rainy season 🌧️
Faithful in suffering 😭
Then I delivered the final blow 💣🔥
“My opponent said nobody serves garri in party…”
I paused dramatically 😌
“THAT IS BECAUSE GARRI IS NOT A PARTY GUEST…”
Entire hall went silent 👀
Then I shouted:
“GARRI IS FAMILY!!!” 🏠🤣🔥
Hall exploded 😂😂😂
I pointed at Amara one last time:
“Rice is for enjoyment…
GARRI IS FOR EMERGENCY AND ENJOYMENT!”
Rice needs firewood 🔥 Rice needs gas ⛽
Rice needs pot 🍲 Rice needs time ⏳
But u see Garri?Just bring cup and water…WE MOVE! 🚶‍♂️💨🤣
Thank you. 🎤⬇️
Abeg did I win amara 🤣🤣🤷...

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